Do you have to wait until you are baptized to give your testimony? Not that I'm going to do it any time soon-ish. Just wondering.
I keep reading about Temples. It seems to me that LDS folks feel strongly about temples. I am excited to go one day but I do not think I feel in the way that other Mormons feel. Mormons seem to feel about the Temple the way I would feel about going to the real Hogwarts Castle. The Presbyterian, Methodist, Baptist, and whatever other churches I've visited before in my life did not feel special and were not treated like I thought you should treat a holy place of worship. I mean, everyone knows it's a place of worship but there's still this gap between it's specialness and holiness. Or at least that was my observation. When I was 17 I went to Italy for two weeks. The things I was most stoked about were seeing the architecture, the food, and the Sistine Chapel/the Vatican. The architecture was so old, the food was so...omgosh I gained twenty lbs., and the Sistine Chapel...well I don't know why but I thought I was going to have some sort of spiritual event upon visiting. The architecture was just as amazing and more so than I expected. The food...well I gained twenty lbs. And the Sistine Chapel and the Vatican? I got the darkest feeling when I went inside the Vatican. There was this beautiful artwork in the Chapel...but the feeling had been stomped out of it. Or maybe touristed out of it. It was strange and empty. There was no reason, no influence that would have prompted me to feel the way I felt upon entrance to the other buildings but it just felt negative. Made me think of liars, and deceit, and conspiracy, and betrayal, and the death of all the Church's good intentions. I mean the Catacombs were down right creepy and not because they were Catacombs. I won't go into any more detail (unless you ask me privately) but the feeling was dark, dude. So I was super disappointed. And in every basilica, I experienced a similar emptiness...a lack of holiness. So I'm worried about the Temple. I expect that we humanized those other magnificent artifacts and that's why I got disappointed. The HG may have hung around in there a bit but the HG didn't live there. I am expecting the HG to hang out in the Temple like it's his own crib. I'm expecting it not to look or feel like something you take a tour of and snap some pix for your FB profile. I'm expecting magnificence and tranquility and opportunity. But please, help me out on that. I don't want my expectations to wreck my experience one day.
PS - I did not completely discount that outing, though. I ended up dancing in the middle of a cobblestone street with five monks while eating coffee flavored ice cream cones. Somewhere out there is a picture of this wonderfully happy phenomenon and I will forever hold a special place in my heart for those simple men who felt compelled to serve the Lord. You could see it on their faces and hear it in their voices no matter what language was being spoken. That's what I had gone to find in the first place. They treated me like their Sister.
Jan 30, 2011
Jiggle, Jiggle.
My post-baby belly ain't the only thing jiggling 'round here.
I asked my husband the other night how on earth he manages to put Boogie to sleep so quickly and he confessed that he jiggled him to sleep. He demonstrated in the air and I thought he was nuts-O. But after trying to walk Boogie for an hour the following afternoon by myself, I decided to try it out.
I was a little nervous about the whole Jiggle thing because of two things. While I was pregnant, my semi-psychotic mother shouted out of the blue one day while I was cleaning her apartment, "Don't shake the baby!!!"
Um. Ok. I'll try not to, Ma. It's not like they didn't show me the Purple Crying DVD in the hospital, doncha know.
Also! After actually having a newborn, I became paranoid that I was gonna totally lose my cookies in an unforeseeable fit of parental psychosis brought upon by sleep dep and stress and, that's right, Ma, shake the baby!
So. I was. Wary. And Skeptical.
But whatta ya know. I put one hand on his shoulder and one hand on his hip while he was on his side in his crib and I started to bounce him. Just a little bit. Shallow bounce, rapid succession. And BAM. He was out like a light. And I walked out of his room and he napped for almost 4 hours (He has had a cold and got his 6 mo. vaccs. the week prior). I am curious about the physiological response this seems to trigger and will he progress to learn to self-sooth better as he grows? Or will this somehow inhibit some important learning process...
I wonder how he will put himself to sleep when he's older? I am NOT jiggling a teenager to sleep. That's just plain weird. And if he has future problems falling asleep, I'm gonna blame it on his Daddy and hope that he finds a new method. Until then, we will finally be gettin' some sleep 'round these here parts agin.
I asked my husband the other night how on earth he manages to put Boogie to sleep so quickly and he confessed that he jiggled him to sleep. He demonstrated in the air and I thought he was nuts-O. But after trying to walk Boogie for an hour the following afternoon by myself, I decided to try it out.
I was a little nervous about the whole Jiggle thing because of two things. While I was pregnant, my semi-psychotic mother shouted out of the blue one day while I was cleaning her apartment, "Don't shake the baby!!!"
Um. Ok. I'll try not to, Ma. It's not like they didn't show me the Purple Crying DVD in the hospital, doncha know.
Also! After actually having a newborn, I became paranoid that I was gonna totally lose my cookies in an unforeseeable fit of parental psychosis brought upon by sleep dep and stress and, that's right, Ma, shake the baby!
So. I was. Wary. And Skeptical.
But whatta ya know. I put one hand on his shoulder and one hand on his hip while he was on his side in his crib and I started to bounce him. Just a little bit. Shallow bounce, rapid succession. And BAM. He was out like a light. And I walked out of his room and he napped for almost 4 hours (He has had a cold and got his 6 mo. vaccs. the week prior). I am curious about the physiological response this seems to trigger and will he progress to learn to self-sooth better as he grows? Or will this somehow inhibit some important learning process...
I wonder how he will put himself to sleep when he's older? I am NOT jiggling a teenager to sleep. That's just plain weird. And if he has future problems falling asleep, I'm gonna blame it on his Daddy and hope that he finds a new method. Until then, we will finally be gettin' some sleep 'round these here parts agin.
Jan 29, 2011
Sicky Sicky Sucky Sucky
I'm not sure why I thought this was a good idea but it seemed to be so at the time. I remember my mother nagging me repeatedly as a kid to '..write the thank you notes already!' because '...it doesn't get any easier the longer you wait it just makes you look like a twit!"
So I grabbed a roll of TP and an empty formula case box (my lap desk :o) and started to write. But I soon realized that it is just as tedious and difficult as it was when I was 10. Unfortunately, mounds of gratitude welling up in my heart for everyone involved with my wedding did not cause the flood gates of verbal poetry to flow from my pen. Funny how blogging is so much easier. Ah well. I am blaming it on the snot. Mine and Boogie's. It is clouding my brain.
And for an update on the Insurance Monster...I talked to a nice young lady on the phone today and she made me very hopeful that things can be resolved! Not that she has any authority to anything about anything but her attitude was contagious and I appreciate that. Hopefully Insurance Monster Agent's supervisor will call me back early next week and my supplemental claim will go smoothly. All's well that ends well, eh?
Supposed to be in the lower 60s tomorrow and sunny! Yay! Boogie and I won't freeze on the way to church tomorrow. And I don't have to do laundry cuz all my warm churchy clothes are dirty. I'll just wear something semi-warm with a jacket. Yay!
Oh yeah. My baby is 6 months old as of the 21st and I think I forgot to post stats. So for posterity here goes:
18 lbs. and 2 oz.
26 1/4" tall
His head is 45" I think? Can't remember. That may very well be too large. I do call him PumpkinHead. Could be right.
And Dr. says he is doing very well as far as development goes! He has been sitting up for a couple of weeks now, rolls around easily, and has started to experiment with getting on all fours. I think his pal, Michael, is a huge inspiration. He wants to chase him around and play with the sound system, too! He got a refill on his Meds and the reflux isn't bothering him. Good thing since he is battling boat loads of snot lately. He still eats everything I put in his mouth, so that's fun. A lovely lady mommy friend gave us a high chair por libre and that has been a great addition and huge help.
And last but certainly not least, I'm getting baptized on Feb. 12.
So I grabbed a roll of TP and an empty formula case box (my lap desk :o) and started to write. But I soon realized that it is just as tedious and difficult as it was when I was 10. Unfortunately, mounds of gratitude welling up in my heart for everyone involved with my wedding did not cause the flood gates of verbal poetry to flow from my pen. Funny how blogging is so much easier. Ah well. I am blaming it on the snot. Mine and Boogie's. It is clouding my brain.
And for an update on the Insurance Monster...I talked to a nice young lady on the phone today and she made me very hopeful that things can be resolved! Not that she has any authority to anything about anything but her attitude was contagious and I appreciate that. Hopefully Insurance Monster Agent's supervisor will call me back early next week and my supplemental claim will go smoothly. All's well that ends well, eh?
Supposed to be in the lower 60s tomorrow and sunny! Yay! Boogie and I won't freeze on the way to church tomorrow. And I don't have to do laundry cuz all my warm churchy clothes are dirty. I'll just wear something semi-warm with a jacket. Yay!
Oh yeah. My baby is 6 months old as of the 21st and I think I forgot to post stats. So for posterity here goes:
18 lbs. and 2 oz.
26 1/4" tall
His head is 45" I think? Can't remember. That may very well be too large. I do call him PumpkinHead. Could be right.
And Dr. says he is doing very well as far as development goes! He has been sitting up for a couple of weeks now, rolls around easily, and has started to experiment with getting on all fours. I think his pal, Michael, is a huge inspiration. He wants to chase him around and play with the sound system, too! He got a refill on his Meds and the reflux isn't bothering him. Good thing since he is battling boat loads of snot lately. He still eats everything I put in his mouth, so that's fun. A lovely lady mommy friend gave us a high chair por libre and that has been a great addition and huge help.
And last but certainly not least, I'm getting baptized on Feb. 12.
Jan 26, 2011
Practicing.
I am so mad right now. I have had several moments like this lately and they are directly related to the sodden dealings with the sodden insurance company handling my auto claim, Horace Mann. Makes me want to say bullocks a lot. Now that I'm reading the BoM and trying to get to know HF a little better, I am trying to refrain from cursing so much. I know using curse words I heard someone from London or Dublin use is not really eliminating curse words from my vocabulary but it is part of my step-down plan. So BULLOCKS. bullocksbullocksbullocks.
Once when I was 10 years old, I cried myself to sleep because I was dwelling on how wicked the people in the world could be...I thought of small children that go to bed hungry and get slapped around by their parents because their parents are frustrated and desperate that they have no money and can find no work because they have baggage and search for jobs at places where the higher-ups are crooked and only hire family members or people they owe favors to because once upon a time they were angry and frustrated and tried to do the right thing but learned that they could only get what they wanted by being crooked...wicked...and that kid that cried himself to sleep? He grew up to do bad, wicked things because he had anger and sadness in his heart and love was too far away as a child and now he gets his love from seeing the fear in the eyes of an old woman as he robs her and he gets his revenge by smacking around his girlfriend just like his Mommy smacked him around...all that because no one thought to talk to God and listen...because it is so much easier to determine as a solution to our woes than to actually execute...bullocks.
And now, because a certain young man at Horace Mann was probably trained to reel in every penny he possibly could, because a representative from the company 'worked' on the issue already by 'conferring' not with a human but with 'internet communications', we have $30 in the bank and Anthony can't go to his job interview in Durham and he may not be able to afford to drive to work Thursday through next Monday. We have half a tank of gas in the wagon. Thirty dollars in the bank. Thank God this happened now and not on the 16th or something...because now we would only need to borrow $30 more before Anthony gets paid again. And I know the BoM talks about saving up for that rainy day because the world is wicked. I know that is exactly what we should have done instead of buying new big kid toys and buying me pants that don't say maternity on the tag and buying a new knife set for the kitchen...I know. So I am glad that we are learning this lesson now and not when we have stubbornly ignored the HG and HF and the only way they can get us to take notice is by some greater gesture or collaboration with the forces of nature.
*ginormous sigh*
No one said it would be easy to try to be more like....my potential awesome self that knows HF. So why am I still trippin'? Because I'm human? That's what my psychology profs would likely submit. But I know why I am truly trippin'. For the same reason I was trippin' as a ten year old. I'm disappointed. I know I chose to come and live here on this Earth but I am disappointed that there are so many daily examples of people being so much less than their potential. We rape and pillage ourselves and others because we are so far from home and we have forgotten how to behave. Even the best of us on a good day unwittingly harm our fellow man. It seems unavoidable at times. No matter how hard we try we fall short. Yet I sit here on my high horse feeling sorry for the state of man because something inside of me knows we could be so much better. And sometimes, it actually makes me cry because I miss how wonderful it once was...I cry (on the inside...can't let your kids see you cry most of the time) because I miss my HF and His State and wish we could all magically beam up there to visit when this down here gets too sodden sorry!! It is tough down here, yet so worth it.
Whew. Glad I got that off me chest!
But still. There is the rain on my parade, Horace Mann. I'm going to err on the side of HF on this one. Perhaps this is a way to teach us that we need to reel in our spending and start saving for a rainy day. ALSO, perhaps this is a way to show Anthony that he need not leave his current job situation just yet as there are still benefits to be reaped. Perhaps our family will face some future situation in which we will be grateful for the shift schedule and the missed Sundays and the excessive costs of commuting because....because something I don't know about right now and I'm ok with that, I think. And perhaps he needs to stay where he is for retirement purposes. Perhaps I am supposed to throw away my childish impatience and foolish inclination to take control because I think I know better than HF...there. That's better. I turned your rain, Horace Mann, on my parade into colorful confetti. It got in my eyes for a second but I ain't blind, yo. I think I might be able to see for a minute. Now where'd we park?
Once when I was 10 years old, I cried myself to sleep because I was dwelling on how wicked the people in the world could be...I thought of small children that go to bed hungry and get slapped around by their parents because their parents are frustrated and desperate that they have no money and can find no work because they have baggage and search for jobs at places where the higher-ups are crooked and only hire family members or people they owe favors to because once upon a time they were angry and frustrated and tried to do the right thing but learned that they could only get what they wanted by being crooked...wicked...and that kid that cried himself to sleep? He grew up to do bad, wicked things because he had anger and sadness in his heart and love was too far away as a child and now he gets his love from seeing the fear in the eyes of an old woman as he robs her and he gets his revenge by smacking around his girlfriend just like his Mommy smacked him around...all that because no one thought to talk to God and listen...because it is so much easier to determine as a solution to our woes than to actually execute...bullocks.
And now, because a certain young man at Horace Mann was probably trained to reel in every penny he possibly could, because a representative from the company 'worked' on the issue already by 'conferring' not with a human but with 'internet communications', we have $30 in the bank and Anthony can't go to his job interview in Durham and he may not be able to afford to drive to work Thursday through next Monday. We have half a tank of gas in the wagon. Thirty dollars in the bank. Thank God this happened now and not on the 16th or something...because now we would only need to borrow $30 more before Anthony gets paid again. And I know the BoM talks about saving up for that rainy day because the world is wicked. I know that is exactly what we should have done instead of buying new big kid toys and buying me pants that don't say maternity on the tag and buying a new knife set for the kitchen...I know. So I am glad that we are learning this lesson now and not when we have stubbornly ignored the HG and HF and the only way they can get us to take notice is by some greater gesture or collaboration with the forces of nature.
*ginormous sigh*
No one said it would be easy to try to be more like....my potential awesome self that knows HF. So why am I still trippin'? Because I'm human? That's what my psychology profs would likely submit. But I know why I am truly trippin'. For the same reason I was trippin' as a ten year old. I'm disappointed. I know I chose to come and live here on this Earth but I am disappointed that there are so many daily examples of people being so much less than their potential. We rape and pillage ourselves and others because we are so far from home and we have forgotten how to behave. Even the best of us on a good day unwittingly harm our fellow man. It seems unavoidable at times. No matter how hard we try we fall short. Yet I sit here on my high horse feeling sorry for the state of man because something inside of me knows we could be so much better. And sometimes, it actually makes me cry because I miss how wonderful it once was...I cry (on the inside...can't let your kids see you cry most of the time) because I miss my HF and His State and wish we could all magically beam up there to visit when this down here gets too sodden sorry!! It is tough down here, yet so worth it.
Whew. Glad I got that off me chest!
But still. There is the rain on my parade, Horace Mann. I'm going to err on the side of HF on this one. Perhaps this is a way to teach us that we need to reel in our spending and start saving for a rainy day. ALSO, perhaps this is a way to show Anthony that he need not leave his current job situation just yet as there are still benefits to be reaped. Perhaps our family will face some future situation in which we will be grateful for the shift schedule and the missed Sundays and the excessive costs of commuting because....because something I don't know about right now and I'm ok with that, I think. And perhaps he needs to stay where he is for retirement purposes. Perhaps I am supposed to throw away my childish impatience and foolish inclination to take control because I think I know better than HF...there. That's better. I turned your rain, Horace Mann, on my parade into colorful confetti. It got in my eyes for a second but I ain't blind, yo. I think I might be able to see for a minute. Now where'd we park?
Jan 12, 2011
I'll prove it to ya...
Speaking of being a silly mama...
Just when I had forgotten that all is possible through Him, even finding the perfect wedding dress ultra short notice? The Dress Fairies knock on my door, solve all my wedding woes, and present me with a wonderful new dress never worn before given by Sister Keith. And it fits like a glove (when I'm in a body glove! gotta get one of those thangs) and is the exact style I was going to look for on Thursday and Friday. So now that the wedding is all but taken care of, what shall I worry about next? Hmmm...I'll meditate on nothing. That's sounds good.
And of course as soon as I look away a certain little dude decides that he can suddenly pull himself into sitting position all by himself. I thought it would take a bit longer with that Buddha belly but go ahead and prove me wrong, kiddo! Proud mama boogie...now if he'll just take a nap so he won't be too cranky to enjoy these new skills. Cuz you know he will decide to enjoy them at 3am if he doesn't!
Just when I had forgotten that all is possible through Him, even finding the perfect wedding dress ultra short notice? The Dress Fairies knock on my door, solve all my wedding woes, and present me with a wonderful new dress never worn before given by Sister Keith. And it fits like a glove (when I'm in a body glove! gotta get one of those thangs) and is the exact style I was going to look for on Thursday and Friday. So now that the wedding is all but taken care of, what shall I worry about next? Hmmm...I'll meditate on nothing. That's sounds good.
And of course as soon as I look away a certain little dude decides that he can suddenly pull himself into sitting position all by himself. I thought it would take a bit longer with that Buddha belly but go ahead and prove me wrong, kiddo! Proud mama boogie...now if he'll just take a nap so he won't be too cranky to enjoy these new skills. Cuz you know he will decide to enjoy them at 3am if he doesn't!
Jan 10, 2011
Wham! Pow! and a throwback to Bladow!
So the missionaries were at the hizzy telling me that Heavenly Father is ready to pour blessings out of His windows for me. Blessings with my name written all over them. So many blessings that if those blessings were actually particles of Jell-O mix, I would drown in them. Fifty billion times over. Squared. That's a lot of Jell-O mix! If I added water to those blessings or what I consider to be the equivalent of good works, then I would drown three thousand universes in Jell-O. The green kind because that's my fave. Alls I gotta do is my part. The missionaries didn't use those exact words but that is my recollection of the gist of things. And ever since that day I have tried to count those Jell-O particles and take notice so that I may include as many as possible in my prayers to Heavenly Father.
ALAS! I am not a calculator. In fact, my calculational skills have become even slower since I banged my head the other day. Not that I am complaining but I really must stress the fact that while Jell-O is yummy (sometimes; I have to be in the mood), it can make it a little hard to breathe when up to your eyeballs in it! That is what has happened to me, People...! The Lord is blessing me so frequently and abundantly that I have become comedic relief for the legions of angels watching over this little household. I have developed a Prayer Lisp. But I am determined!? to keep trying to keep up with these Thank You Notes. I have been short of breath, teary-eyed, and almost downright flabbergasted today because the blessings are coming so fast and furiously. I was worried about the car being ruled as a "total". I was worried the other guy involved in the accident had a policy that did not include a rental. I was worried that we would have to pay out-of-pocket for some reason or another. I was worried, worried, worried of ridiculous unimportant details about things that should not even be on my priority list. And then I remembered that's the perfect time to go to Heavenly Father...so I did. And within 2hrs, TWO HOURS, all my problems, even the ill-perceived ones, were solved. And then some. And then some more. And then the baby freaked out because we were an hour late for his feeding but now he's napping peacefully and I can eat something myself. So there, stupid car accident. Stupid human brain forgetting that I had someone watching my back. Silly mama...
My rental may not be a Caddy, but it's safe and I'm not paying for it. I may have gotten smacked by a Chevy s10 but I'm fine and the other driver was the most considerate fella and no one was hurtdespite speeds of 50mph. The tow guy may have sounded like a super rude redneck but the owner of the company was nice enough to drive all the way back to our place to drop off items left in the car and provide some reassuring statements about the unibody. I may only get 45mins of sleep at a time tonight but while I'm awake I get to stare at the most amazing little person. And every day I get to wake up to his smiles and the gorgeous smile of my soon-to-be husband (yeah, that's right, impromptu wedding shindig on Saturday!). And just when I didn't think it could get any better? There are good people climbing out of the woodwork to get to know us and be our friends. We have good company now and some of them may even be our neighbors soon! And there may be a shortage of family members nearby willing to babysit but there's a wonderful woman from our ward that is overjoyed to babysit Isaiah while we go to the Register of Deeds on Friday. And trust me, there are more. But I'm afraid I would be sitting here typing my wonderful life away so instead I'm going to go eat some leftover spaghetti! Just in case you were wondering where you blessings have been lately, I hope this post reminds you that they could be milliseconds away. And it will be a sunshiny flood upon your head. Get out your Thank You Notes!
ALAS! I am not a calculator. In fact, my calculational skills have become even slower since I banged my head the other day. Not that I am complaining but I really must stress the fact that while Jell-O is yummy (sometimes; I have to be in the mood), it can make it a little hard to breathe when up to your eyeballs in it! That is what has happened to me, People...! The Lord is blessing me so frequently and abundantly that I have become comedic relief for the legions of angels watching over this little household. I have developed a Prayer Lisp. But I am determined!? to keep trying to keep up with these Thank You Notes. I have been short of breath, teary-eyed, and almost downright flabbergasted today because the blessings are coming so fast and furiously. I was worried about the car being ruled as a "total". I was worried the other guy involved in the accident had a policy that did not include a rental. I was worried that we would have to pay out-of-pocket for some reason or another. I was worried, worried, worried of ridiculous unimportant details about things that should not even be on my priority list. And then I remembered that's the perfect time to go to Heavenly Father...so I did. And within 2hrs, TWO HOURS, all my problems, even the ill-perceived ones, were solved. And then some. And then some more. And then the baby freaked out because we were an hour late for his feeding but now he's napping peacefully and I can eat something myself. So there, stupid car accident. Stupid human brain forgetting that I had someone watching my back. Silly mama...
My rental may not be a Caddy, but it's safe and I'm not paying for it. I may have gotten smacked by a Chevy s10 but I'm fine and the other driver was the most considerate fella and no one was hurtdespite speeds of 50mph. The tow guy may have sounded like a super rude redneck but the owner of the company was nice enough to drive all the way back to our place to drop off items left in the car and provide some reassuring statements about the unibody. I may only get 45mins of sleep at a time tonight but while I'm awake I get to stare at the most amazing little person. And every day I get to wake up to his smiles and the gorgeous smile of my soon-to-be husband (yeah, that's right, impromptu wedding shindig on Saturday!). And just when I didn't think it could get any better? There are good people climbing out of the woodwork to get to know us and be our friends. We have good company now and some of them may even be our neighbors soon! And there may be a shortage of family members nearby willing to babysit but there's a wonderful woman from our ward that is overjoyed to babysit Isaiah while we go to the Register of Deeds on Friday. And trust me, there are more. But I'm afraid I would be sitting here typing my wonderful life away so instead I'm going to go eat some leftover spaghetti! Just in case you were wondering where you blessings have been lately, I hope this post reminds you that they could be milliseconds away. And it will be a sunshiny flood upon your head. Get out your Thank You Notes!
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